Everything is a Horse

The shocking truth is we don’t see what we are doing most of the time. We see what we want to see. We see through the colors and filters of our minds, our preconditioned ideas and beliefs that change what is actually happening into what we “think” is happening.

There are many techniques to help see through the mind filter. I like to call this group of techniques “mirroring”. This is where an external object or person mirrors what you are really doing. One of these methods uses a horse as the mirror.

The person who is trying to see through their filters to a true reflection of themselves and their behavior approaches the horse in an attempt to interact with it in some way. The way in which the person approaches the horse reflects how the person approaches life. Their attitude towards the horse reflects their attitude towards situations that the horse represents to them – the unknown, fear, strangers, control, etc. In turn, the horse’s reaction to the person reflects the person’s attitude to the horse. For example, if the horse is approached in a fearful way, it will probably react in a dominating manner because it senses the fear and knows it can dominate what is approaching it.

In this way, the horse provides insight to behaviors and attitudes that are normally buried for the poor person who only sees the results of behavior that is invisible to them.

This is all good and well, but how many of us have a horse in the back yard? I know I don’t. But I do have a surfboard, and I did go surfing.

The waves were small and breaking in a few different spots in the area I was surfing. I noticed a swell forming in the deep water, felt the desire to paddle across to it, resisted the desire and watched the wave roll in and break smoothly. I had missed a good ride. Why? Because I had an automatic restraint in my behavior. What if it was a waste of time? What if I paddled all the way over there and the wave didn’t break well? But most of all, if I was being totally honest with myself, my strongest throught was “What if someone on the beach saw me get excited, paddle all that way over to the wave and then not take it? They’d think I was an idiot!”

Well, all those useless thoughts cost me a good ride. I let stupid negative, restraining thoughts steal my fun. What made it even worse was I was the only surfer in the water and the 4 people on the beach were reading books or walking – they weren’t watching me! So for all my efforts not to look like an idiot, I sure felt like one!

At that point I saw my life behavior reflected in my approach to surfing. Don’t get too excited, look before you leap, be careful you don’t look like an idiot. It was quite a shock to see how my behavior had been modified from since I was a kid by these unconscious commands. They did their job though – I didn’t look like an idiot. But I felt like one! How stupid! Making sure other people didn’t think I was an idiot, made me feel like an idiot. Personally, I’d rather have other people think I’m an idiot than have myself think I’m an idiot!

The other areas of my life I have squashed my excitement and enthusiasm flashed before me. All the opportunities, fun, freedom and excitement I had missed because of this automatic restraint. What a waste of life, what a crazy, unconscious way to live! I sat for a moment in the restless ocean. A smile broke over my face as I saw the good news – since I was now conscious of the behavior, and the beliefs that held it there, I had recovered control over it. I could choose to keep it or let it go. I’m sure you’re not surprised to learn I let it go and spent the rest of my surf session paddling backwards and forwards like a little kid, taking chances on the waves and having the greatest time.

The lesson for me, in addition to seeing my own behavior, was that everything in life is a horse. Everything around you reflects your behavior. The world around you is a mirror. To see yourself as you really are, all you need is the willingness to look at what is truly in front of you, and the courage to confront your actions and the fact that you may not be the perfect little angel you would like to think you are. Maybe, just maybe, your current behavior is not the best solution to the problem you see. Maybe you don’t always respond or react or approach in the best way possible, even if you think you do.

Be honest with yourself by being honest in observing how you behave towards the environment and how it responds to you. Life is more rewarding and stimulating that way.